back to square one

while i'm no fan of generalization or stereotyping, but i think it's quite safe to say that women are one complicated species.

after 24 years, i still can't figure out how is best to deal with them.

not to say that i can't handle them or they're out of my control, no. just, i don't know the BEST way to go around them. to really know them. to understand them.

one specimen: i especially love how a girl was all cool and bubbly and whatnot when with the rest of us, but when she's with her crush/boyfriend, she went all pemalu, lembut and ayu :D

oh, that example would be less fun if the boyfriend is of the same personality as she usually portrays. it's amusing when the boy is the less extrovert type, hence the act of going all pemalu and pendiam as to fit in with the guy.

i find that very cute. heh.

on another point of view, i think i'm no easy to be understood myself. i only recently realized that, apart from one or two (or a little bit more) of my guy friends, no one really, REALLY knows who i really REALLY am. my ex-best friend was the ONLY girl that i can remember that knows me THAT well, inside and out. but she's no longer in the picture. so it would take a mighty effort for me to open up to someone, anyone, about everything there is to know about me.

because what you see on the surface, whichever surface that is that you see, is probably insufficient. there's still so much to know, i'm already afraid just thinking about it. afraid of how is it that i'm going to tell someone about who i really am.

i have to figure out myself quickly, or else i'll forever be that one person who always has to lead a different life depending on the circumstances.